The Woman Who Returned the Movie Late…

…here’s what I should’ve said.

When I was working at the store last year, a lady came in with a movie that was a full week late. She came in, and told me it was late. Which I respected. Most people just drop it off and leave, or they send their kid in because the kid has no money and can’t pay late fees.

The thing with customers in a small business is that they’re often long-term investments. You develop a good rapport with someone, and they’ll come back regularly. But sometimes there are customers who think they’re doing you such a huge favour by coming back, when all they do is rent movies and return them late.

Anyways, she told me it was late, so I calculated the late fee. I told her it was $14, and she freaked. She exclaimed that it was way more than a rental at Roger’s Video. I told her that these were late fees, and not a rental fee. She continued to look at the digital numbers on the til in shock. She obviously practiced this in the car before she came in. So I told her I’d let her off with just paying me $8, because like I said, investments. I wantvher to storm off. So she thought I did her a big favour, and went on her way.

But here’s what I should’ve said.

Are you really that stupid? Do you not get it? The rental was ONE day. Not seven. This is a brand new movie. 7 Days. $4 a day. I lost $28 in rentals because you didn’t bring it back. You live 5 imnutes away and you couldn’t return it. I should be charging you $28 you dumb bitch. In fact, I’m changing it. The late fee is $28 dollars. $14 for the movie, and $14 for being such an ignoramus. Why don’t you go try to screw Roger’s video with your whining instead of me.

Most of these segments will be experiences from the store. I hold me tongue a lot in that place.

October 23rd, 2006 | esprit d’escalier | 2 comments

Girl Who Rolled her Eyes at me for not knowing where Jersey was…

… Here’s what I should’ve said to you

This is a brand new segment I will be calling ‘What I Should’ve Said’.

Sometimes it is only after a situation is over that you think ‘Man! I totally should’ve just said _________!’ It was just that, in the moment, you were so choked up with anger, or perhaps in a situation where it wouldn’t have been in your best interest to say such horrible things to someone. Or maybe, like me, you’re just not a confrontational person. I avoid confrontation.

When I first got to Korea, you may have read an entry on here about a girl I met at my first training meeting in Seoul.

She had overheard me asking some girl if New Jersey was a state. She was baffled. She asked me why I didn’t know and telling her that I was a Canadian who studied Canadian geography growing simply wasn’t enough. Even when I told her that she probably didn’t know Canadian geography, she said to me “Atleast I know where it is on the map”. This left me speechless. She practically gasped in awe, half rolled her eyes, and went back to her business.

Heres what I should’ve said…

Do you know how many provinces are in Canada? No, I said provinces. Not states, provinces. That’s right. You have no clue. Why? Because you don’t care about Canada. I don’t really expect you to. I don’t care about you. And I don’t mean Americans. I mean you. People like who think we should all care about you, you, you. Egocentric snobby elitest.

October 20th, 2006 | esprit d’escalier | 3 comments