Ladies. Gentlemen. Good afternoon.
I’ve graduated Korea. “How do you feel?” says everyone and anyone. It’s definitely a mixed bag of emotions. I have been here three years. I’ve established a life here. And off I go again with my life in boxes Let’s start with the first bag.
Why I’m going home
“Time in Korea stands still.” That’s my number 1 favourite way to describe it.
I don’t hate Korea. I love it for many reasons. No tipping, cheap eating, no last call, comfortable lifestyle, rent paid, flights paid, hours paid, paid paid paid. Working as an English teacher in South Korea certainly has it’s monetary benefits. Whether you’re looking to save, or to live it up. (I was the latter, for sure.)
I’m not in love with Korea, however. Not being fluent in the local language can often get frustrating. My korean’s not that bad, but I often get weird looks mid conversation as soon as the topic goes to anything slightly complex. “Is he a foreigner?…or retarded?” is the look I often get. I also miss diversity, and the subsequent effect it has on the culture around me. Teaching English is also soulless, unfulfilling work. I won’t generalize. Perhaps it was only at my work place that it was this way. I crave progress, and I felt I was just standing still.
The biggest reason for going home, however, is to pursue a music career. I’ve spent years now cultivating my skills. My confidence is at an all time high, and I’m prepared to tackle it.
The next 6 months of my life will be spent narrowly focused on my art. I won’t go into detail of what kind/genre/style/sound/etc., I’ll be going for, because frankly, I’m not sure yet. I dont’ think any artist puts his brush to the canvas with the any absolute foresight of what he/she is about to create. I am prepared to do it wholeheartedly. That’s the best any artist can do, no? Do it with absolute love and maybe someone else will see that, feel that, hear that, and love it too.
6 months in the future, it will be spring, and I hope to be prepared to bring my work to the public. Then it’s full steam ahead.
And yes, I will be getting some sort of job. Money is the source of all life, isn’t it?
And now the second bag.
What I’m leaving Behind
I’ve certainly grown as a musician. Even developing something of a fanbase. I felt all warm inside Wednesday night, on my last open mic night, as people sang along as I performed one of my own songs, Snow Day.
Sidenote:
I also wonder if I’ve got the wrong idea, going back to Toronto to pursue music. It’s all about who you know, and I know people there…but I know people here too. The music industry here in my opinion is flawed, but it’s also very fertile ground. TonyB a local rapper in Daegu came up to me one night and said “I get what you’re doing , going home. But you know there’s cool shit going on here too. Really cool shit.” I tell people if I fail as a musician back home, I’d be back in Korea, and people laugh. BUt peopel doesn’t realize that I’m serious. TonyB is right. The ground isn’t fertile yet, but with enough (bull)shit piled on top (i.e. Every pop song in Korea) the soil underneath will be ripe for sowing and planting. Maybe in 2 years time, if I’m back, Korea will be ready for me.
More than anything though, it’s the friends I’ll miss most.
“Life in Korea can be tragic.” That’s my second favourite way to describe life in Korea. Moving to a foreign country, meeting other people, other foreigners, locals, and sharing awesome experiences with them; The whole time knowing, that you’ll probably have to say goodbye to these people again within the next 12 months. Whether they’ll be back again for another contract is always up in the air, but going away parties are always due.
I’ve had the benefit of meeting some very good people. People that have changed me, helped me, and who have even grown right with me.
Now I find myself close to welling up over and over, as I think of this, and that, and you and him, and her.
I call leaving Korea ‘graduation’, and this my commencement address because I find myself stirring with the same kind of excitement and anxiety as I did when I finished high school, and University. Gathered I am, amongst all of those closest to me, having spent numerous years together. Gathered, to say our goodbyes, to have our last drinks, last meals, last last last.
“HAPPINESS ISN’T REAL UNLESS IT IS SHARED.” –Jon Kraukaer
And it feels like I’m leaving behind those I want to share it with.
Wish me luck.
October 31st, 2008 | Life | No comments