So I get to GUMI Train station about 25 minutes before my train departs. My stomach wasn’t feeling so well, and I figured I need to drop a load.

Being someone who has frequented public washrooms (provided they’re clean enough) on my campus and restaurants and what not, I can comment, with experience to back me up, that the public washrooms in Korea generally quite clean. The ones at the 2 hour stop-point on the bus ride from Seoul to Gumi is immaculate, complete with a huge picture view window onlooking the base of a mountain meeting the edge of a river. Classy.

So here I am, at Gumi station, and the washrooms, again, are real clean. So I sit down, do my business (of which I won’t go into too much detail to save those with weak stomachs), and notice something.

Something very horrible.

Instead of a toilet paper dispenser, there were three holes in the wall. Three holes where a toilet paper dispenser probably should’ve been.

Panic.

There’s a black plastic bag on a little ledge behind me on my right. “Could this possibly be some weird system of toilet paper distribution? To make it exciting? Like receiving a gift?”

Nope. it was some sweet crunchy snacks somebody seems to have left behind.

Panic more.

I think for a second. Okay. Just get up, carefully, pull up your pants, carefully, and walk, very carefully to the next stall.

Fuck me. More holes in the wall.

Next stall. Again. Holes.

As someone who often thoroughly enjoys his shits, I was not having a good time this time round. Okay, I wouldn’t say I enjoy my shits… you just can’t help but always feel better afterwards.

So here I am. Standing in a washroom with a dirty asshole. “I don’t have TIME to go back home and come back.” I think to myself. “Should I just go use the washroom on the train?”

I can’t bail on my trip to Seoul over toilet paper….or…can I?

Then I turn the corner.

Apparently you’re supposed to get wads of toilet paper, and THEN go do your shit. (nyuk, nyuk)

Needless to say, I had to back to the dispenser twice to get more toilet paper.

January 28th, 2006 | Random shiz

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